Ω There is no doubt that ukB is the premier climbing forum on the web. It is no place for the meak, and idiots are generally shredded (thankfully without mindless censorship). Castle Hill recently came in for some treatment - see here from the top of page 39.
Views seem to be evenly split. And we wonder who the “local” climbing in Switzerland was? Ω
Ω Stuart Kurth continues to tear up the Basin on his spring break. Last weekend, Stoo dispatched Captain Sassypants Direct V11 (sometimes called “Sassy Panties”) in fine style. That brings his tick list in the last few weeks to: Quantum Mechanics V7, She Male V7/8, Gibbon V7, Millennium V8, Jetstream V9, Dr. Manhattan V9, Captain Sassypants Direct V11 and Archilles Last Stand V12. The guy is a beast!
In other news, Buff Daddy Mackay (pictured here using sneaky beta on Fidel Castro) also dispatched Dr. Manhattan. Ω
Ω Zac Orme whizzed through Wellington yesterday, en route to Thailand, and made a flying visit to the Rak where he dispatched Money Shot V6, Splinter V8 and (a rare ascent of) Low Life V8. He also kindly posed for photos on Uppercut V5, at the Back Blocks Ω
Ω In this (second) edition of media watch, we bring you a report of the (now) infamous Peter Allison incident at Flock Hill:
http://www.softrock.co.nz/mg/index.php?page=21
Powerband notes that this report differs markedly from Peter’s own account of events. In particular, Peter has noted:
- his attempt to climb Trifecta Middle V13? was not a “filming exercise”.
- no blow torches were used; on the rock, on Bevan or on anything else.
- neither the fire engines, nor the crack SAR team made it anywhere near the accident site; they just drove up and down the road at the bottom of Flock Hill beeping their horns.
- as to the inadequacy of the lighting, in an unfortunate coincidence, all mood lighting and table lamps had been removed from Flock Hill the previous week; and the paramedic winched from the helicopter apparently forgot his torch.
So don’t believe everything you read on the interweb; especially not on this site Ω
Ω This is the first edition of our ‘free to everyone’ media watch service, where we note items of interest to Powerband readers from general climbing media.
First up we have this thread from New Zealand’s premier website for inclement teacup weather, mountaiNZ:
http://www.mountainz.co.nz/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1030
Note the post from “Wild Mountain Thyme”, a not-so-subtle dig at bouldering and, in particular, the recent Peter Allison incident at Flock Hill. Powerband wonders if WMT’s avatar (of him/her standing on top of a boulder) is “inversely ironic” in this context. Or maybe he/she was just training for a lower Tasman glacier ropeless descent? Ω
Ω Disappointed with his haul from two weeks ago, Powerband franchise owner John Palmer returned to Flock on Saturday with one thing in mind: going full-retard on Acapulco. This impressive and much-photographed line has repelled all-comers since Derek’s first ascent. Despite derision from Pete the Radness, suggesting it can’t possibly be harder than V10 because it’s not steep enough, this problem is long and continuous and requires expert application on every move right up to the committing last.
An eager arrival at Flock with cloudy and crisp conditions quickly turned to dismay as James, JP and Gomez found many of the boulders to still be damp from overnight rain. Concerns about moistness in the scoop at the top of Acapulco were aired and a thoroughly distracting warm-up commenced. This involved JP persisting for an ascent of an unknown nipple-scraper which was downgraded from V10 project to V6 when he finally did it. JP then set his eyes on Dr. Manhattan, grabbing a quick ascent of this powerful and aesthetic pivot problem. This problem really is a typical Castle Hill classic due to the atypical nature of its crux.
We then wandered over to Acapulco ‘just in case it’s dry’. It was. Pads came drifting in from all directions and suddenly there was a psyched group of possible ascentionists and more foam than a furniture factory. JP did it first go and the wild celebrations were reminiscent of other V11 ascents such as Wiggy Woods’ cowboy whooping on the top of Hume Roof. It was JP’s first V11 in New Zealand (i.e. first proper V11) so we didn’t mind a bit of yelling. Nice one!
Nobody else was having much luck so the pads scattered to all corners. James and JP grabbed repeats of T-Roy’s slick-trick Bawse!!! in good style (e.g. the blazing hot sun). We then flailed away on a number of tricky problems before JP topped off his day with an ascent of the slopey thing left of the Three Hueco problem. I’m pretty sure this hadn’t been done yet. JP accepted the toe-hook offer declined by Buff Dan last week, and sent it packing with ease (apart from the neck cramps on the final rockover). He called it Leverage and graded it V7 just to top off James’s day.
Also, just a few weeks after bagging his first V8s Andy Strang climbed Lost For Words V9 in the blazing sun. Good effort! Imagine what he might achieve in the cold… Ω
Ω Unreported from yesterday we have yet more hot bouldering action from the mighty Flock Hill. Hot being the word. Winter is well and truly gone and the sight of cars with skis on their rooves is truly ridiculous, my suspicion is that the white ’snow’ you can see on parts of the skifields is in fact accumulations of little polystyrene balls spilled out of the packaging of the new snow-making machines the skifields must be frantically purchasing. In the boulders, good conditions have evapotranspirated, though shady problems are still in good nick.
People are always a bit slow to figure this out, yesterday we saw Andy and Etienne attempt to warm-up on Lost For Words at about eleven-thirty and in the blazing hot sun! Rach the Muss continued her siege of Grooverider in equally spicy conditions but to no avail. Gomez, despite his immense intelligence, was also found trying Julian’s Arete in the sun. At least he was smart enough to select a problem a few grades easier! His conservative approach was rewarded with a successful ascent of this tall and intricate problem which, according to his 8a scorecard, he thinks is one of the best V6s in the whole Basin. What would he know? Clearly he is making some kind of pretence that he has climbed enough V6’s in the Basin to make such broad sweeping statements, which is a very dubious proposition.
Meanwhile, in the shade, things were really happening. James got on a rope and cleaned the line to the right of Acapulco, which is scary and impressive enough to have been given the scary and impressive title of The Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse Project. Yikes! It sports hard climbing well above the finishing height of the already-too-scary-for-most Acapulco and then eases off but continues to a height of about twenty metres. I’m not sure about conquest, as even if war and famine don’t stop you, trying this problem without a rope could well lead to a long ride on the pale horse known as Death. My suggestion is to blue-tack hangers to the rock and clip them.
They moved on to a shady hand-speed campus project semi-contemporaneously unearthed by Gomez. Nobody was quite twitchy enough for this problem, though I suspect Derek would have done it first go if he were around. ZacAtak™, Tricker that he is, flashed the first ascent of a variant to this problem via some slopey campusing and some Pete the Fractured Radness Kocksmere™ technique. James and Andy flashed the second and third ascents. Gomez required a bit more patience, eventually realising that campusing all the way to the good hold rather than doing a mini-campus to a bad hold was the optimal S.M.R.T.™ strategy*.
ZacAtak™ and James then went looking for some geckos, in order to steal their skin and perhaps succeed on the hand speed campus project. While looking for geckos, they got distracted by a dyno project that they couldn’t resist brushing, despite it being in the blazing sun. The fingery launch led suggestively to a generous angled edge way up and right. James ‘The Future’ Morris was the man for the task and it all looked on until James realised that his hand blowing off the hold in the midst of the wild and fully horizontal grab swing would cause him to sail clean over his spotter’s heads, off the ledge and about four metres down the subsequent hole. Hmmmm…. Undeterred, James sent anyway, making the first and only ascent of Kamikaze (V8). Staunch effort. I suggested he call it Real Men Don’t Eat Salad.
In other shady areas Buff ‘Dan’ Mackay continued his strong form with an ascent of Captain Sassypants, which he described as ‘the best V8 at Flock’. This understated praise deserves expanding upon, the subtext being that everything at Flock is basically either hard or soft V8, making Captain Sassypants pretty much the best problem. Apparently Andy and Etienne both got close too. Nice work Dan!
The day ended with Dan and ZacAtak™ dancing their way up the tremendous Three Hueco problem while Rach made the first ascent of some lovely face via a nasty match, cross-through, and then match-some-other-nonsense sequence. In the meantime Gomez rapped down Acapulco to apply sunscreen to the final hold of this problem, stopping it from getting sunburned and thus making sure it is in top condition for JP’s next attempt. Ω
*S.M.R.T.™ is the trademarked climbing ‘technique’ invented by Gomez Garcia Gonzalez for the purpose of helping heffalumps go ‘up’. The acronym stands for Super-Meat-axe Retard Technique. Tuition is available for a premium fee. Don’t just climb, climb S.M.R.T.™!
Ω Unreported from the weekend before last, top local climber and ladies man ‘Buff’ Dan Mackay climbed Interstellar Overdrive v10 at Flock Hill. Apparently he crushed it. Job!
Also at Flock Hill, Troy Mattingley and Tom Hoyle added a new slab dyno, BAWSE! V6. This is on a north facing slab behind Limestone Orgasm V7. And James Morris and John Palmer climbed a new V5ish slab-campus around the corner from Singularity V8. Nipple protection is recommended.
In my ‘less notable repeats’ notebook, I have my own ascent of Triage V9, Ghola V7/8 and Gibbon V7. I think a couple of others climbed Ghola. Troy certainly climbed Gibbon (proving the lie that big arms are necessary to climb burly problems) and Shemale V7/8?. I think Sparkles also climbed Shemale. His summit quote: “There’s no way Jason Whittaker would climb that”. There may have been others that I missed. Ω
Ω According to his 8a.nu scorecard, Cliff Li has been busy bouldering at the Mt Eden Quarry. Recent ticks include Zilmerized V8, Scott’s Arete V8 and the local test piece Methodone V9. Ω
Ω Ever made the first ascent of a V9? Ever written a story about it afterwards, talking about yourself in the third person? Me neither. What about writing a comment about yourself on Powerband, using the third person to pretend that it’s not you, and then accidentally using ‘I’ halfway through? Didn’t think so.
Anyway, today John Palmer climbed a new V9 at the Rak. Located on the large roof at the Back Blocks (about 5-10 mins along the coast from the Bronx), this steep burly climb has been a project since 2005. Although that statement is true, it is also totally misleading because nobody has tried it since 2005 (when John, David Kopp and Chris Sanderson first spied and cleaned the line). The problem involves a crux opening throw from two low underclings to a reasonably friendly sloper. After that, a good sequence and good body tension will net you quality tick. Or if you want extra for experts, you can climb left from the third move - which adds 6 or 7 horizontal, gymnastic moves that are quite tricky but probably not quite tricky enought to add that magic ‘double digit’. I actually climbed that line too today, but Zac Keegan (who just happened to be eating lunch nearby) called a ‘dab’ so the ascent could not be claimed. Next time.
Early, John and Zac added half a dozen new problems to some other boulders in the Back Blocks area. The hardest of these, Scratch V6, was total shit. The others were better. Except one, which wasn’t it. Confused? I am. Sparkles, help.
Zac also repeated Undertoe (or is it Undertow?), which he thought might be more like V6 than V5. Kristen Foley also repeated Undertoe, but that was on Thursday.
The moral in all of this is: if you pad what is essentially a one sentence news report by taking the piss out of your mates and using lots of bad in-jokes, you can produce enough text to make it seem like things are really happening in Wellington bouldering Ω
