Ω Ivan Vostinar is something of solo force in the New Zealand bouldering scene at present. While most boulderers have gone into summer hibernation, the beast from the east continued his pre-Xmas rampage by adding a new V10 at the Rak on Sunday. The now-so-called Passive Attack is a right hand exit to his excellent problem Attack V7, with a huge span and some committing toe hook malarkey over the pit of death.
After “50 starts” the Vos also grabbed the second ascent of Noir Désir V9. He thought it was probably V9. Ω
Ω I ran into a guy the other day who said that he and another guy were bouldering on Fly Rock one day (not the other day) and climbed a new problem. It traverses from the left, to the right, staying super low. He thought it might be V7. Ω
Ω James Morris (aka The Future) became the second young hotshot to dispose of Musashi V10, Ivan Vostinar’s Bronx Cave test piece, in less than an hour. And it was warm too! He also disposed of Speed Freak V7, Speed King V7 and very nearly claimed the second ascent of Tyrant V9 Ω
Ω Little known bouldering facts: Fontainebleau legend Jacky Godoffe is lefthanded; John Gill is also a lefty; Jerry Moffat is always right; Ron Fawcett climbed Careless Torque mainly on the right; Big Golden 7c+ is just right of Tristesse 7c (which Derek Thatcher flashed), Formis Rouge 7c+ is just to the left; John Sherman left his mark; Oscar Eckenstein was right on the mark; Midnight Lightning V8 starts left of the lightning bolt, but finishes to the right; Captain Sassy Pants V8 also goes from left to right, unless you climb the direct variation, which doesn’t go that far right; Pete Allison broke his right leg on Trifecta Middle, after falling off going left; JP nabbed the FA of Arcadia Left V9 at Turakirae Head on Sunday, using two right foot shoes because he’d left the left one at home; right at the limit of my creativity now turning a one line news item into a post; nothing left to say (and it wasn’t that funny anyway) Ω
Ω Out from under his rock, Ivan Vostinar (also known as “The Beast from the East”, “The Floating Czech” and, amongst certain numbers of the fairer sex, “Vos The Sos”) has opened a new V9 in the Bronx Cave at Turakirae Head. The problem, Baguette, is a second variant to Toast, climbing slightly right of the main problem. With extremely impressive form on plastic, it is only a matter of time before the Vos opens something truly hard at the Rak. Watch this space Ω
Ω Zac Orme whizzed through Wellington yesterday, en route to Thailand, and made a flying visit to the Rak where he dispatched Money Shot V6, Splinter V8 and (a rare ascent of) Low Life V8. He also kindly posed for photos on Uppercut V5, at the Back Blocks Ω
Ω Ever made the first ascent of a V9? Ever written a story about it afterwards, talking about yourself in the third person? Me neither. What about writing a comment about yourself on Powerband, using the third person to pretend that it’s not you, and then accidentally using ‘I’ halfway through? Didn’t think so.
Anyway, today John Palmer climbed a new V9 at the Rak. Located on the large roof at the Back Blocks (about 5-10 mins along the coast from the Bronx), this steep burly climb has been a project since 2005. Although that statement is true, it is also totally misleading because nobody has tried it since 2005 (when John, David Kopp and Chris Sanderson first spied and cleaned the line). The problem involves a crux opening throw from two low underclings to a reasonably friendly sloper. After that, a good sequence and good body tension will net you quality tick. Or if you want extra for experts, you can climb left from the third move - which adds 6 or 7 horizontal, gymnastic moves that are quite tricky but probably not quite tricky enought to add that magic ‘double digit’. I actually climbed that line too today, but Zac Keegan (who just happened to be eating lunch nearby) called a ‘dab’ so the ascent could not be claimed. Next time.
Early, John and Zac added half a dozen new problems to some other boulders in the Back Blocks area. The hardest of these, Scratch V6, was total shit. The others were better. Except one, which wasn’t it. Confused? I am. Sparkles, help.
Zac also repeated Undertoe (or is it Undertow?), which he thought might be more like V6 than V5. Kristen Foley also repeated Undertoe, but that was on Thursday.
The moral in all of this is: if you pad what is essentially a one sentence news report by taking the piss out of your mates and using lots of bad in-jokes, you can produce enough text to make it seem like things are really happening in Wellington bouldering Ω
Ω A while back, Big Bobby Keegan pulled a large jug off Mr Olympia, a soft-serve ‘enduro’ V10 of mine in the Bronx Cave. I tried to stick it back on, but the caulilower I dealt with at Mitre 10 inadvertently sold me cottage cheese. It didn’t stick very well and Bobby pulled it off again.
There was a silver lining in all of that - the missing block revealed a sloping rail, and with a bit of cunning, Bobby figured out a new sequence using the rail and some unlikely foot faggotry. The new Mr Olympia was on, and it was going to be slightly harder than the old version.
Bobby kindly shared his sneaky beta with me. It took a couple of sessions before I ‘understood’ what he was getting at but soon we were both gunning for the first re-ascent (wouldn’t that be something to write home about!). I was looking better on the latter part of the problem, but Bobby had the started sewn up. We both got close last weekend - it was simply a matter of time (usually I don’t have to worry about such things (ie. time) but my jedi mind trick doesn’t seem to penetrate through Bobby’s impressive mane of ginger hair).
Bobby declared that he’d be heading out on Tuesday to claim his prize - I promptly did a rain dance and he got 120mm of the stuff before lunchtime. Come Thursday (today) the shoe was on the other foot, only Bobby’s rain dance didn’t work and I walked out to the Bronx this morning under a perfect sky. After a quick warm up, I fumbled around on the start of the problem for a bit, just to make things interesting, then dispatched in reasonable style (there was a bit of grunting and more-than-usual slapping at the end). As I pulled onto the exit slab, I thought of Bobby. I thought: “Christ, by the time he’s my age, I’ll be in a home”. Then I laughed. Not sure why. Ω
Ω Notwithstanding his ridiculous name, Chesley is a man who knows how to perform under pressure. So, when a flock of deranged birds resolved to purée themselves inside the engines of Flight 1549, Chesley didn’t flinch. Instead, he calmly steered the powerless 42,400kg Airbus that he was piloting into the Hudson River; and he was home in time for tea.
David Kopp doesn’t have a ridiculous name per se. And notwithstanding weeks of running for his life around his neighbourhood, he still tips the scales at around 42,400kgs. But he knows how to perform under pressure (Lucy?) and he’s never ever late for tea (unless it’s his sister’s birthday).
What does that have to do with bouldering? Nothing, except that after a year or so in semi-retirement, the Koppulator announced his comeback to the world at Turakirae Head on Saturday with an against-the-odds-under-huge-pressure-to-do-it-before-JP-does-it first ascent of a V6 traverse on the Treestyle boulder. Three minor issues slightly detracted from that momentous occasion: (a) he dabbed (he called a ‘foot scrape’, I didn’t see it) and was then too boxed to repeat the problem sans dab; (b) although the rest of world wanted to be there, it/they was/were busy so it was left to me and Bob to cheerlead; and (c) he broke my nose. Seriously. With his elbow. It went crack and it really hurts today. Anyway, Dave’s going to call the problem The Chesley B. Sullenberger III Traverse.
In other news, Bob continues to flirt with the first re-ascent of Mr Olympia V10. Unfortunately, he hasn’t been to the Chesley B. Sullenberger III school of climbing something tricky really quickly before that old c#$* climbs it. Don’t worry Bobby, when you finally do it, you can use this quote from Chesley: “One way of looking at this might be that for 42 years, I’ve been making small, regular deposits in this bank of experience: education and training. And on [insert date] the balance was sufficient so that I could make a very large withdrawal.” Ω
Ω Apparently (so I discovered on the weekend), the Chewbacca Defence is the dying art of obfuscation, the ability to say lots about nothing at all, the practice of running interference when you have nothing to report or something to hide. And, on reflection, it was (more or less) the editorial policy of 41174.org.nz, at least for the last year or so of its life, because we (Kopp and I) had no real news to report.
Well, now I do have something to report. On Sunday I climbed an “all world” boulder problem at Turakirae Head. As far as I know, it was a first ascent. As far as I’m concerned, it’s the best boulder problem at Turakirae Head, and in Wellington it is rivalled only by Seaward Arete V0 and Big Black V5 for quality and grandeur. As far as you’re concerned, it’s on the Rubicon Wall, it’s somewhere between 5-7 metres high, it starts with a deep lock to a pocket, it then opens up with a series of big moves between opposing slopers as you climb a gently overhanging shield of grewacke, it culminates with a wild slap for the sloping lip off a small left hand sidepull and a right hand undercling, it’s called Seamonsters and it’s probably about V7.
Check back next year. I’m bound to have unearthed another decent “pebble” in Wellington by then. In the meantime, keep “wrestling” Ω
