Ω Rich Simpson is a fake. Apparently. If you believe the rumours and innuendo:
http://www.ukclimbing.com/news/item.php?id=59419
http://ukbouldering.com/board/index.php/topic,16602.0.html
Still, the guy was certainly strong. Stronger than…say…Dave Kopp:
Perky Pinky from Nizza Grandpouce on Vimeo Ω
Ω Clearing out some archives on my laptop and found this little gem, courtesy of La Ninjita. It works on so many levels for me. Brilliant! Ω
Ω Guess who? Guess where? Guess why? Ω
Ω JJG: a quiet lad, rake thin and a meat-free zone. But he can climb. V10 in fact, and he’s only about 10 years old. Here’s the proof:
In my humble opionion, the most impressive aspect of the lad’s send is the sequence he used. Crafty, skillful, playing to his (hand) strengths. Plainly a youth with a climbing future Ω
Ω So you’ve conquered the immediate climbing world. You’ve become the youngest punk from the greater Ashburton region ever to climb V Blah Blah Blah. You own a car with downlights, a large baked bean can welded onto the exhaust and a large analogue clock mounted on the dash. You’ve been interviewed for The Climber. You’ve been added as a tag on Powerband. But still you’re single. You’ve got nothing, not a bean - except perhaps a large poster of Chris Sharma (wearing natural fibres) and some aloe vera.
Well, Palmersutra is here to help; not in that way…just with some handy hints, some top tips, some expert guidance on matters of the heart. And here they are:
1. Get a haircut. Seems like an obvious tip, but I am constantly amazed by the shear volume of greasy, sweaty, slimy tresses seen on your average day at the crag. And the owners ain’t getting any (unless you read “any” as a reference to lice).
2. Get some money. There is nothing less attractive than an impecunious climber. Bludging isn’t sexy, it’s bludging.
3. Get some conversation. Unless your target relationship duration is less than 2 minutes, conversation is inevitable. Yet it is astounding how many climbers have little more than grunts in their repartee repertoire. That’s fine for communicating with other troglodytes but in any vaguely desirable romantic context, grunting should be kept strictly under the covers.
4. Get a life. I know it’s hard to think about anything other than climbing but your chances of meeting ‘the one’ at the local crag are basically zero. As Steve Conn once said “It’s BYO chicks here, mate”.
5. Get training. You’re single, and you’re not the only one. Competition is fierce and only the strong survive (except for Zac, who oddly is single AND strong. Go figure).
So there you have it, Palmersutra’s top dating tips. Worked for me! Ω
