ΩAfter a hearty roast dinner courtesy of Matt and Rach (and a fair amount of rain) on Friday night the team (Derek, James, ZacAtak™ and Matt) made a late start to Wuthering Heights on Saturday. There they climbed some stuff. James warmed-up the mighty Okinawa Steel, while Derek re-repeated Oren Ishi’i (despite his spotters saying enough was enough and we need more than one pad and he wasn’t able to return for the third ascent). ZacAtak™ repeated Derek’s latest addition to the area Sloper Syndicate (V9ish), which probably involves slopers. The double-mantle problem to the right of Texas Chainsaw Massacre received some serious attention (including a spectacular fall from Matt). On the way back down the hill they stopped at The Vostinar Sloper Traverse #54, a.k.a. Powerlicious. Derek and James repeated this problem which is described as “a slopey traverse”.
Sunday dawned with an enlarged posse for a three-car attack on Flock Hill. Matt and Rach (no she didn’t climb, have you SEEN her finger?) brought out Rowan and Mark Pugh-Williams (who will henceforth be referred to as ‘Pug’ to avoid any immature toilet humour) who are two of the older geckos (do older flying geckos become Tuataras?). Pug and Jamie Vinton-Boot both climbed Porky, causing it to be downgraded to V7 and V6 respectively. Finally, to the utter embarrassment of Kester Brown (who was off being poncey) I climbed it, causing a further downgrade to V5 (did I mention ZacAtak™ flashed it AND the topout was wet?). Shortly after this something actually happened, with Derek making the first ascent of a project up the hill a bit, via some cool slopers, a single upside-down pocket and some body contortions.
ZacAtak™ continued his quota bagging with an ascent of the sideways daze problem Right of Validation. He had some goes on Liquidous Line, his gentle slab/groove which only looks like a fearsome highball project (Kay, we know you are reading), but needs a bit more work on this one. At this point I did some further research into CSS, and expanded my theorising on the three most commonly experienced forms of spooge (hot spooge, cold spooge and I’m watching a scary climbing movie spooge[also known to civilians as 'job interview spooge']) Later on, James and Derek tried to repeat Derek’s old problem Non-sequitur but neither had any success and this problem may be upgraded again (it was originally V8, now it looks more like 10). Meanwhile Pug showed he has the requisite physical attributes by battling his way up Hipster at the end of the day. ZacAtak™ also climbed this problem and James pulled his quota out of the bag with a last gasp second ascent of the low-start to this problem (grade unknown, but it’s probably harder than V5 I reckon). Then it got dark.Ω
Ω Tired of the same old virtual climbing experience? Sick of logging in to find that everyone else’s lives are as dull as yours? Been banned from your local climbing forum for reading somebody their pedigree?
Well, here’s Palmersutra’s 5 top tips to improving your ‘climbing’ internet experience:
1. Don’t bother visiting any websites other than Powerband, and perhaps Flickr. In particular, stay away from climbing fora; they will only lure you into writing something that you regret.
2. If you must post on climbing fora, make sure you suck up to the forum hosts/moderators as much as possible. Research what climbs they’ve done (or at least would like to have done) and ask them lots of really silly questions about those climbs. Agree with everything they say, and make sure you remind them (and the rest of the climbing world) what a great job they’re doing, at least once a day.
3. When creating an account, use this picture of Justin Bieber as your avatar. Chicks love it when you do that. Also, make sure you use an obscure pseudonym so that nobody knows who you really are. Mine is “JP”. Nobody has a clue who I am.
4. Resist the urge to respond to endless posts from people who are completely without initiative asking: “Is there any climbing in New Zealand?” or “Where is Castle Hill?” or “Can I buy food in New Zealand?”. If you really want to help, suggest they visit Australia instead - their boulders don’t polish as quickly as ours.
5. Last but not least, remember to scramble your IP address - you never know who is watching. Eh Derek? Ω
Ω ‘Get Well’ wishes to Rach the Muss, who nearly lost her finger recently while tending to her horse. Apparently her finger got caught in a rope attached to the frisky equine, and (more or less) desheathed. She is now recuperating at home, training the ‘back three’. What is it with this year… Ω
Ω Zac Orme has repeated Seamonsters V7 at Turakirae Head. This highball is located in the middle of Cook Strait and requires some balls and good timing with the weather and tides. Fortunately for him, Zac had/has plenty of both. He said: “Seamonsters is quite scary” Ω
Ω Ex-Dunedin boulderer Oliver Miller (now based in the UK) has been firing on the grit lately, with ascents of many grit classics including Brad Pitt V10 (his first problem of the grade), Tetris V9, The Terrace V9, Blind Date V8 and the old skool Zippy’s Traverse V7/8 Ω
ΩAfter a hearty roast dinner courtesy of Matt and Rach (and a fair amount of rain) on Friday night the team (Derek, James, ZacAtak™ and Matt) made a late start to Wuthering Heights on Saturday. There they climbed some stuff. James warmed-up the mighty Okinawa Steel, while Derek re-repeated Oren Ishi’i (despite his spotters saying enough was enough and we need more than one pad and he wasn’t able to return for the third ascent). ZacAtak™ repeated Derek’s latest addition to the area Sloper Syndicate (V9ish), which probably involves slopers. The double-mantle problem to the right of Texas Chainsaw Massacre received some serious attention (including a spectacular fall from Matt). On the way back down the hill they stopped at The Vostinar Sloper Traverse #54, a.k.a. Powerlicious. Derek and James repeated this problem which is described as “a slopey traverse”.
